Clydsedale ‘Champ of the Universe’ on tap again in Bend

Dec 3, 2010 by

The big boys and girls will have their day when Bend hosts the USA Cyclocross National Championships next week. Local promoters have announced the second-ever installation of the tongue-in-cheek Clydesdale Cyclocross Championship of the Universe. The Knights of the cross Crusade explain it well in their latest release.

The Knights of the Cross Crusade have spoken, therefore let it be known that on the second Saturday of the twelfth month of the year 2010, a Clydesdale Cyclocross Champion of the Universe will be chosen in Bend, Oregon.

Cyclocross gladiators weighing 200 pounds (1.428 Contadors) or more, and Athenas, female gladiators weighing 160 pounds (1.142 Contadors), or more, are eligible to enter the ring of battle.

The 200+ pounders will have a chance to get their race on during the big event in Bend next Saturday. ©Pat Malach

This quest for the second inaugural Universal Champion of big-boned cyclocross warriors is being heralded as the most prestigious honor ever bestowed in our cycling galaxy. The ceremony will commence at 9:30 p.m. at the Deschutes Brewery Warehouse during the not-to-be-missed “Cross Nats Blowout Bash” Warehouse Party being hosted by Deschutes Brewery on the Saturday night of the 2010 USA Cycling Cyclocross National Championships.

By the power and creed of the Black Knight of the Cross Crusade, the rules of combat have been fortified: there will be no pit, costumes are encouraged, the March Fourth band will be on hand to add to the pomp, and no form of seriousness will be tolerated. Furthermore and heretofore, call-ups will be based on weight in descending order, with the heaviest racers starting first. All warriors will be weighed at registration. The first three finishers will be scored. All others will finish in the herd.

There will be a $15 entry fee that will cover your race fee and your first beer at the party immediately following the race. OBRA licenses will be required. One day OBRA licenses will be provided at no cost to racers who do not have an annual OBRA license.

The race course will be dimly lit, and headlights and headlamps are highly recommended. Race duration will be 30 minutes and will take place on one-half of the National Championship course. Registration starts at 8:30 p.m. at the Deschutes Brewery Warehouse. The party starts at 8. The race will start at 9:30 .

In addition to being awarded with the second ever Champion of the Universe jersey, the crowned Clydesdale Champion will be showered with unspeakable riches, including a season pass to the Frite Cart at the 2011 Cyclocross Crusade series.

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